Entertaining Nuggets

** That smile looks good on you!
** The good news is that there is no time frame for doing better.
** Owe no one anything except to love one another.

Nugget 1

***Parent: My child is an angel.
Church nursery worker [Whispering]: So was Lucifer.

**Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?”
Student: “My father’s check book”! -Anonymous

***I’m so single that when they ask for an emergency contact, I have just been putting Jesus.

***I want to be so full of the Holy Spirit, that if a mosquito bites me, it will fly off singing, “There is Power in the Blood!”

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats..
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always Catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food..
6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7) You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
8) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
9) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.


Nugget 2

My how time flies! In a few hours January will be gone. Some of you may have gone on consecrations, cleanses, diets or some sort of reset. Some of you may have set resolutions. Have your plans fizzled out by now? Are you still excited about whatever you decided to do at the beginning of this month? I applaud you for starting something.

God values our lives, and if He values us, we should surely value ourselves. When He created us He called us, “very good.” We sometimes fall into the trap of not caring for our bodies, or our mental and spiritual health. The good news is that there is no time frame for doing better. You can do better no matter how old you are and no matter where you are on your wellness journey. As January leaves and February comes in, here are some physical and mental goals that you may be interested in setting.


Nugget 3 


Romans 13:8-10, NKJV
Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,”  “You shall not bear false witness,” “You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

 “There are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.” — Earl Wilson. Many Americans are in that third category. They have some kind of debt: credit card, student loan, medical, mortgage, car, personal, etc. Some people have so many debts that they find themselves in financial bondage. They will never be able to pay all that they owe. They will die in debt.

Paul tells us that we (Christians) have a debt. Some Christians may not be aware of this, but our debt is to love one another. This debt of love is continual and universal. No matter how hard we try, we will never be able to pay it. We will die owing it. We don’t get to pick and choose who we love. We are to love everyone (inside and outside the church), not just the person who lives next door. Even though we may not know them, we love them because Jesus loves us.  

The genuine love that Paul talks about seeks the well-being of others. If we love someone, we won’t sleep with his wife or her husband. We won’t kill them. We won’t steal from them. We won’t tell lies about them. We won’t have an evil desire to get what they have. We will want the best for them, like we want the best for ourselves. We won’t have to wonder how we are supposed to love them. We will naturally avoid anything that will hurt them in any way. When we choose to love, and do no wrong to anyone, the law will automatically be fulfilled.  

One of the reasons some people go to work is because they have debts to pay. We have a much better reason to go to work for God: We owe Him. He sent Jesus, His only son to die for our sins. Jesus gave His life so that we would not have to die spiritually. He paid a debt He did not owe; we owed a debt we could not pay. So, we follow God’s commandments to the best of our abilities and we rely on the Holy Spirit to help us. We never get depressed or angry knowing that our debt to Him will never be paid. We get happy and excited.  We can happily declare, “I owe, I owe, so off to work I go!”


The information that I have shared with you is intended
for informational purposes only.

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior?  If you wait, it could be too late. For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting live (John 3:16).

If you have already accepted Him, He wants you to get to know Him even better.

Bye for now. Thanks for visiting!
Don’t forget to click the Follow button.


Disclaimer of Advertisements
Please be advised that the ad links and cookies attached to the pages of Happy & Fit for the Master’s Use have nothing to do with my ministry and have nothing to do with this blog. They do not reflect the ministry’s interest or endorsement in any way.

Sources
https://clipart-library.com/clipart/n893850.htm#google_vignette
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/66076319525059563/

JULY Tidbits

**If you’re happy & you know it – SMILE.
**Jesus loves us. There is absolutely nothing you or I can do to stop Him from loving us. Singing: Jesus Loves Me
** We all pass gas, break wind, cut the cheese, etc. These 6 tips may help relieve it.

*** Tidbit 1  Humor Time

It’s free to smile. You pay nothing. – anonymous

Mrs. Smartt was fumbling in her purse for her offering when a large television remote fell out and clattered into the aisle.

The curious usher bent over to retrieve it for her and whispered, “Do you always carry your TV remote to church?”

“No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come with me this morning, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”

Things My Mother Taught Me (part 5)
**My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
**My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
**My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

 Why did the snowman look through a bag of carrots?
Because he was picking his nose.

What’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?
Daughter: “Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?”
Mom: “I don’t know ask your grandmother.”

Why didn’t the elephant buy a suitcase for his summer camp?
Because he already had a trunk!

*** Tidbit 2  Jesus loves you and me.

Parents love their kids, at least they’re supposed to. No matter what kind of adult that child turns out to be, a parent will still love him or her. Jesus loves us. There is absolutely nothing you or I can do to stop Him from loving us. He doesn’t love sin, but He loves the sinner. He wants to have a personal relationship with each of us. His desire is that we spend eternity with Him.

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior?  If you wait, it could be too late. For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting live (John 3:16).

If you have already accepted Him, He wants you to get to know Him even better.

Click on the video below to hear my rendition of Jesus Loves Me.

No matter how bad life gets, I have the promise that Jesus loves me, and all things are working together for my good. If you’re a born-again believer, you can say the same thing.

*** Tidbit 3   Flatulence

No matter what name you give it (passing gas, farting, breaking wind, cut the cheese or pooting) we all do it. It’s a natural product of digestion. Flatulence means that you have excessive gas in the stomach or intestine. As you digest food, your digestive system will cause intestinal gas, otherwise known as flatus.

Flatulence can result from being sedentary, swallowing air while chewing or having trouble digesting carbohydrates. There are certain foods in particular that cause gas, such as beans, high-fiber fruits and vegetables, protein shakes, sauerkraut, lentils, artificial sweeteners, and carbonated beverages. When the digestive system isn’t able to fully digest food, it will turn it into gas to escape the body.

Here are 6 tips that may help relieve flatulence and let you continue eating foods that are also good for you.

  1. Soak beans in water for at least twelve hours. Cooking them will help reduce their gas-producing properties.  Throw away the water that you soaked them in. Rinse them thoroughly and cook them thoroughly until they are completely tender.
  2. Nutritional seeds: flax, chia and/or fennel seeds. Be aware that flax seeds can cause constipation if you don’t drink enough water.
  3. Digestive Enzyme supplements help break down the food in your digestive tract especially foods that are hard to break down such as foods that high in fiber or fats.
  4. Ginger added to your dinner or smoothies may help reduce the amount of gas that is produced in your stomach.
  5. Baking soda and lemon may be fast and instant. Squeeze one lemon into a glass of water and then add a teaspoon of baking soda. Mix well and drink once the fizz has died down.
  6. Apple cider vinegar is a natural remedy for bloating, but it may also help stop gas fast. Add a teaspoon of ACV to a cup of hot boiling water and drink it slowly.

Bye for now. Thanks for visiting. Don’t forget to click the Follow button

The information that I have shared with you is intended for informational purposes only.

Follow me on YouTube:
www.youtube.com/channel/UCcrxz9YI7Eg7ycPTbPyllSw

Annette Harris – YouTube

Sources:
Jokes (stewardshipoflife.org)
https://tensionnot.com/jokes/one_liner_jokes/things_my_mother_taught_me
https://funnyeditor.com/post/why-did-the-snowman-look-through?msg_id=c1fa93d0f1784c88991dd37bb58c60f9&md5=31733c63481f00599c10bfa36d869c57&cohort_id=17&utm_source=FE-&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=FE-Intro_herolink
https://funnyeditor.com/joke/what-s-it-like-to-have-the-greatest
https://funnyeditor.com/joke/why-didnt-the-elephant-buy-a-suitcase-for-his-summer-camp
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36P-XIR3vaM&t=8s
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/783556035154928882/
http://clipart-library.com/clipart/234371.htm

Sing your song

shepherd

 

A Sunday school teacher decided to have her 2nd grade class memorize Psalm 23, one of the most quoted passages in the Bible. She gave the children a month to learn the chapter.

One little boy was excited about the task, but he just couldn’t memorize the Psalm. Although he practiced and practiced, he could hardly get past the first line. The day came for the children to recite Psalm 23 before the congregation. The little boy was nervous. When his turn came, he stepped up to the microphone and proudly said, “The Lord is my Shepherd and that’s all I need to know!”

http://www.jokesclean.com/ChristianJokes/

I shared my story in previous blogs about how in 2013, I lost my job of 11 years and how my 13 year old Mustang was totaled in an accident. I got a brand new 2013 Ford and it turned out to be a lemon in less than a year. The Ford Company finally replaced it with a 2014.  There have been no problems so far. In the midst all of the drama, I decided to go back to college. God blessed me to earn a 4 year degree (B. S. in Health Promotion) in a year and nine months. I had a lot of credits that transferred from previous degrees. 

If someone would have told me that at the seasoned age of 30 +++ laughing happy face with tongue, I would have multiple degrees and yet be working 6 – 14 hours a week in retail making minimum wage, I might would have just run away. This job was a good fit while I was in school but now I need a full time job (or a rich husband laughing face).  I’ve been seeking a full time job, with no success. In the meantime, I try to keep hope alive. Some days are better than others. I know that things could be a lot worse, so I’m thankful for what I do have.

God has been a faithful shepherd. Although I don’t like my situation,  don’t understand it, and it doesn’t feel good, I believe with all my  heart that He loves me. I know that God has a plan for me. This is not the end.  He has provided and continues to provide for me.  Nothing has been cut off, my car has not been repossessed.  My refrigerator has not been empty. Yes, Jesus loves me more than anyone on this planet. This situation hasn’t killed me. I believe that it will make me a stronger, better, and wiser person.

I haven’t blogged in months. I lost my motivation. I couldn’t think of anything to write about.  Today I decided that I needed to sing, so I’m singing my song. Keep in mind that when I encourage you to “sing your song”, I’m talking about the song that is within you. It doesn’t matter who wrote it or who recorded it. Anna B. Warner wrote the words to the hymn, Jesus Loves Me and William B. Bradbury was the composer. It’s my song because it’s within me. Of course I can’t take the credit for writing the text nor composing it, but I can sing it as only I can sing it. I used to wonder why God didn’t give me a voice like Patti LaBelle, opera singer, Jessye Norman, or gospel singer, Yolanda Adams. Now I accept the fact that He gave me the voice that He wanted me to have.

Sing your song!

It doesn’t matter if you’re in tune or out of tune.  My oldest sister, has many gifts, but singing is not one of them. We joke about it. Nevertheless it doesn’t stop her from singing anywhere and anytime.  Sometimes (when the anointing hits) you wouldn’t know that singing was not one of her gifts.  

There are social, emotional and physical benefits to singing. Singing can:

  • Help reduce depression and anger.
  • Encourage creativity.
  • Bring people together.
  • Release endorphins, the brain’s “feel good” chemicals.
  • Increase the amount of oxygen you take into the body as you inhale deeply, producing a feeling of alertness as more oxygen gets to the brain.
  • Improve muscle tone in the face, throat, neck and jaw.
  • Help manage stress.
  • Improve your ability to listen attentively without having to think of responses.
  • Be a form of meditation because it enables you to just “let go.”

I’m gonna sing my song while I live because when I die, no one will be able to sing it for me.

To view my video, those who receive email notifications of new blog posts can click on the link beside my picture.

 

HUMOR TIME

Hymns for People Over 50

  • Give Me the Old Timers Religion
  • Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up
  • Just a Slower Walk with Thee
  • Go Tell It on the Mountain, But Speak Up
  • Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing
  • Guide Me O Thou Great Lord God, I’ve Forgotten Where I’ve Parked The Car
  • Count Your Many Birthdays, Count Them One By One
  • Blessed Insurance
  • It Is Well With My Soul, But My Knees Hurt

http://www.jokesclean.com/ChristianJokes/

There’s a slimmer person inside me yelling to get out, but I can usually shut her up with ice cream and cake.

ACTUAL Church Bulletin Bloopers:

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine.  Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

“Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale.  It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around   the house.  Don’t forget your husbands.”

“Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.”

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to conflict.

The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.  They need all the help they can get.

Don’t let worry kill you. Let the Church help.

Thursday night will be a potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

http://javacasa.com/humor/church.htm

smiley faceThanks for stopping by.  It’s been therapeutic for me.  Hope it has made you smile.

 

Resources

 

http://www.moresingingplease.com/benefits-of-singing

http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/singing-happy1.htm

http://www.businessballs.com/singing.htm