Category: laughter

Lighthearted Nuggets

** “Everyone smiles in the same language.” – George Carlin
** Got beets? Beets and beet greens are packed with essential vitamins, life-giving minerals and plant compounds, some of which have medicinal properties.
** Waiting for justice? Hold fast to your faith and learn how to wait on God.

*** Nugget 1  Humor Time  

  • You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.
  • Give Satan an inch and he’ll be a ruler.
  • Read the Bible – It will scare the hell out of you.

What is the funniest experience you have ever had in church?

  • Realizing my toddler had ditched her undies and was currently mooning the people in the pews behind us.
  • Having my thigh high stockings, (they were too big, I had lost weight) fall down to my ankles.
  • A sign outside a church read: This week’s sermon, “What is Hell?” Underneath that; “Come along to choir practice and find out”.

    Politically correct ways to say someone is unintelligent:
  • The cheese slid off his cracker.
  • He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
  • Her sewing machine’s out of thread.

*** Nugget 2  Beets

Beetroots, commonly known as beets, have never been one of my favorite vegetables.  In the past I would juice them, but never eat them.  Do you eat beets?  If your answer is yes, then you’ll love the information that I’m about to share with you.  If your answer is no, then hopefully you will learn some things about beets and will begin to include them in your diet.

Beets and beet greens are packed with essential vitamins, minerals and plant compounds, some of which have medicinal properties. They are loaded with life-giving minerals, including magnesium (which has lots of benefits, including Alzheimer’s prevention), potassium (which aids heart, kidneys, muscle, nerve, and digestive functions), copper, iron, and phosphorus, an essential mineral aiding cell function throughout the body – and they’re good for bones and teeth, too.
 
Beets are also a great source of Vitamins A, B, and C, as well as healthy fiber.  They are also low in calories and fat.  They contain manganese (which is good for your bones, liver, kidneys, and pancreas) and B vitamin folate, which helps reduce the risk of birth defects.

Beets may help:
1.  Keep blood pressure in check  
2. Fight inflammation
3. Support brain health
4. Improve digestive health
5. Help fight cancer
6. Boost your stamina

 
There are many ways to enjoy beets AND the green leafy tops. They can be juiced. They can be added to smoothies. They can be sautéed lightly just like other greens such as spinach and kale. They can be grated raw and added to salads. They can be marinated with lemon juice, herbs, and olive oil. 

If you buy beets already cooked, make sure you consider the sodium and the sugar content as well. Although beets have the highest sugar content of all vegetables, most people can safely eat them a few times a week.  The beet greens can be eaten in unlimited quantities.

Why not include beets in your Do Better Challenge.  I hope you’re still trying to do better.  Go online, find and experiment with some recipes and enjoy.  I’m sure your body will say, “Thank you!” 

*** Nugget 3  Justice Delayed   
                      
Revelation 6:9 –11, NRSV
When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slaughtered for the word of God and for the testimony they had given; 10 they cried out with a loud voice, “Sovereign Lord, holy and true, how long will it be before you judge and avenge our blood on the inhabitants of the earth?” 11 They were each given a white robe and told to rest a little longer, until the number would be complete both of their fellow servants and of their brothers and sisters, who were soon to be killed as they themselves had been killed.

John, writer of the book of Revelation tells us things that are going to take place after the church leaves the earth. The seals in chapter 6 represent the beginning of Christ’s judgment of unbelievers on the earth during the Tribulation period. The fifth seal presents the saints (Tribulation saints) that were killed because they believed in the word of God and confessed the truth of it. They held fast to their profession of faith and as a result they were murdered.

John saw these martyrs crying out to God for vengeance. They were told to sit back in their white robes of victory and honor, and wait. Justice was delayed but it would not be denied. They had no impatience, no uneasiness, and no doubts.

Learn how to wait on God. It may seem like He has forgotten. It may seem like there will be no justice, but hold on. You don’t have to get stressed out. Negative stress can lead to all sorts of health problems. Don’t take matters into your own hands.

God will set it right when His people are persecuted. While you’re trying to figure it out, He’s already worked it out. He will judge His enemies and yours. Sit back, and give Him praise and glory while you wait.  

Hallelujah to the King of kings & Lord of lords!

The information that I have shared with you is intended for informational purposes only.

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior?  If you wait, it could be too late. For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting live (John 3:16).
If you have already accepted Him, He wants you to get to know Him even better.

Bye for now. Thanks for visiting. Don’t forget to click the Follow button.

Disclaimer of Advertisements
Please be advised that the ad links and cookies attached to the pages of Happy & Fit for the Master’s Use have nothing to do with this blog. They do not reflect the ministry’s interest or endorsement in any way.

Sources
https://tensionnot.com/jokes/one_liner_jokes/how_say_if_someone_stupid
https://www.douglasjacoby.com/spiritual-one-liners/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9oDD58zj8AIVBomGCh1qGgCmEAMYASAAEgIRQPD_BwE
https://clipart-library.com/clipart/235227.htm
https://familywize.org/blog/the-top-5-health-benefits-of-beets
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/benefits-of-beets#section1
https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/01/25/beets-health-benefits.aspx
https://clipart-library.com/clipart/54198.htm

September Tidbits

**Laugh yourself to life.
** Every day I’m thankful to be a child of God.
** Got hummus? Research shows that hummus has numerous health benefits. Plus, it tastes good.

*** Tidbit 1  Humor Time

A good laugh is sunshine in the house.
— William Thackeray

Christian One Liners
*Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
*Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
*The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

Little Angel!
Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm.
Johnny asked his mom, “Where’d he come from?”
“He came from heaven, Johnny.”
Johnny responded: “Wow! I can see why they threw him out!”

Rest In Peace
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside him and said quietly, “Good morning, Alex.”

Good morning, Pastor,” replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. “Pastor McGhee, what is this?” Alex asked.

“Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the men and women who have died in the service.”

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex’s voice was barely audible when he finally managed to ask, “Which one, the 9:00 or 10:30 service?”

*** Tidbit 2   Your Choice: Child or Slave   

John 8:34-38, NRSV
 Jesus answered them, “Very truly, I tell you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin. 35 The slave does not have a permanent place in the household; the son has a place there forever. 36 So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed. 37 I know that you are descendants of Abraham, yet you look for an opportunity to kill me because there is no place in you for my word. 38 I declare what I have seen in the Father’s presence; as for you, you should do what you have heard from the Father.”

The Jews firmly believed they couldn’t be enslaved to sin because they had the Law. They believed that only the Gentiles were enslaved to sin. After all, the Jews were the children of Abraham and did not need to be freed.  Jesus explained that yes, they were Abraham’s physical seed, but he was not their spiritual father. Jesus let them know that everyone who habitually practiced sin was a slave to sin.

There were times I enjoyed being a slave. I thank God for a mother and father who made sure that I learned about God. Someone said, “I had a drug problem growing up. My mother drug me to church. She drug me to Sunday School, Sunday Morning Service, Wednesday night Bible Study, Choir rehearsal, revivals, etc.” I thank God for that drug problem. Because of that drug problem I couldn’t enjoy being a slave for long. The Word had been planted in me. 

God saw my heart. He knew that deep down inside, I didn’t want to be a slave to sin. He offered me freedom through His Son, Jesus. I accepted His invitation. He adopted me as His child. Now I am a member of His family, forever. I still sin, but I don’t habitually practice sin. When I sin, I repent. I don’t allow myself to be eaten up by guilt because I have been forgiven.

The living Word (Jesus) and the written Word (Scripture) keep me in check. I heard someone say, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.” Every day I check myself. Every day I’m thankful to be a child of God.

*** Tidbit 3 Got Hummus?

Hummus is a popular Middle Eastern dip and spread. It is a plant-based protein, packed with vitamins and minerals. It is usually made by blending chickpeas (garbanzo beans), tahini (ground sesame seeds), olive oil, lemon juice and garlic in a food processor.

It can also be purchased in the store. Just make sure you read the label carefully. Buy it with as few ingredients as possible. Look for mostly whole food ingredients with names you recognize on the label. Research has shown that hummus may help:

  • Fight inflammation
  • Improve blood sugar control
  • Aid in weight loss
  • Lower heart disease risk
  • Improve digestive health
  • Prevent cancer
  • Keep you regular

Different ways to add hummus into your diet include:

  • Use it in a sandwich, substitute for mayonnaise.
  • Make hummus toast.
  • Use it as a salad dressing alone or (Use less salad dressing and add hummus).
  • Use it as a marinade. (Let your fish or chicken marinate for an hour then bake as you normally would.)
  • Experiment with different vegetables.(cauliflower, cucumbers, celery, sliced peppers, broccoli florets, snap peas, etc.)

Here’s a simple recipe for hummus. It can be made in less than 10 minutes and only requires a food processor.
Ingredients
2 cups of canned chickpeas (garbanzo beans), drained
1/3 cup of tahini
1/4 cup of lemon juice
1 tablespoon of olive oil
2 garlic cloves, crushed
A pinch of salt

Directions
Place the ingredients into a food processor and blend until smooth. You can also experiment by adding your favorite flavors including, olives, sun-dried tomatoes, mushrooms, etc. Happy eating!

The information that I have shared with you is intended for informational purposes only.

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior?  If you wait, it could be too late. For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting live (John 3:16).

If you have already accepted Him, He wants you to get to know Him even better.

Bye for now. Thanks for visiting. Don’t forget to click the Follow button

Sources
Bible Humor: Good Clean One Line Humor (clean-jokes-and-humor.com)
https://www.pastoralcareinc.com/resources/sermon-helps/jokes-for-sermons/
https://unsplash.com/photos/p2OQW69vXP4
https://unsplash.com/photos/yr-sW_x9aHk
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/is-hummus-healthy#TOC_TITLE_HDR_10

Motivational Tidbits

* Smiles and laugher really do a body good!

* Don’t let the devil ride. If you let him ride, he’s gonna wanna drive.

* Popeye the Sailor Man ate spinach for strength to fight the bad guys. Although spinach won’t help you in a physical fight, it may help your body fight disease.

Tidbit 1    Humor Time

The young couple invited their aged pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.

 “Goat,” the little boy replied.

“Goat?” replied the startled pastor. “Are you sure about that?” “Yes,” said the boy. “On the drive back from church I heard Mom say to Dad, ‘Remember, we’re having the old goat for dinner tonight.’ ”

Sunday Funnies – A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!” As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran, she once again began to pray, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late… But please don’t shove me either!”

What do you call a cheese that’s not yours?               

Nacho cheese!

Tidbit 2    Don’t let the devil ride.

Sometimes we give the devil too much credit.  When we see all the evil going on in the world, we may forget that God has more power than the devil.  We cannot combat the devil successfully without God.  God has given us the power to say, “No” to the devil.  Because God has given us free will, we can say yes to the devil and allow him to come right on in. 

If you are always quick to say, “The devil made me do it.”  Stop lying.  In most instances you let the devil influence you.  As you go through your day, your week and the devil tries to influence you, get you discouraged, tries to get you to go off on somebody, I want you to say to him, “Oh no devil, God is gonna help me and I’m not gonna let you ride today!”

[Click on the video to hear the oral presentation of this blog and to hear the song: Don’t Let The Devil Ride.]

Don’t forget to smile today. – Don’t let the devil ride! – Got spinach?

Tidbit 3     Spinach

There used to be a cartoon called Popeye the Sailor Man.  Popeye got his strength from eating spinach.  He was the good guy and he was always getting into situations.  In each episode, when he had taken all he could take, he would pull out a can of spinach.  When that can of spinach came out, you knew Popeye was going to kick some “butt.”

Although spinach won’t help you in a physical fight, it can help your body fight disease. There are many benefits of including spinach in your diet.  Here are 6 of them.  Spinach:

  1. May help protect the eyes.
  2. Is high in insoluble fiber and may help with constipation or irregular stools.
  3. Provides many vitamins and nutrients, including vitamin C, calcium and magnesium.
  4. Contains antioxidants, which may help reduce stress and the damage it causes.
  5. May help slow down cancer growth.
  6. May help reduce blood pressure levels.

Some vegetables provide more nutrients when they are lightly cooked.  When spinach is cooked the body will absorb more calcium and iron. Once you’ve cooked and eaten the spinach, you can drink the water or pot liquor.  Pot liquor is the liquid left in a pot after cooking something.

Cooked spinach can be added to almost any dish, or eaten as a side dish.  If you choose to eat spinach raw, here are a few ways.

1. Tear the spinach into smaller pieces and add to tuna salad or chicken salad. 
2. Add it to your favorite smoothies.  You won’t even notice that it’s in there.   
3. After rice or pasta has been cooked, add it to the dish. 
4. Put it on the top of your pizza. 
5. Add it to already prepared hummus or bean dish. 

Keep in mind that eating veggies lightly cooked or raw is something that most people should be doing more of.  They provide so many nutrients and very few calories.  Let’s get that spinach in ya’ll!

What other ways do you include spinach in your diet?  Please share with us.

The information that I have shared with you is intended for informational purposes only.  Spinach is very high in vitamin K1, which can be a problem for people on blood thinners.  People who are prone to kidney stones may want to avoid spinach. Check with your physician if you have health issues.

If you know Jesus Christ as your Savior, now is the time to get to know Him even better.  If you don’t know Him, accepting Him as your Savior will be the wisest decision you will ever make.

Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for following this blog.
Until next time, have a blessed day!

Resources

https://www.stewardshipoflife.org/jokes/
https://www.beliefnet.com/ilovejesus/features/hilarious-christian-jokes.aspx
https://www.fatherly.com/play/50-great-clean-jokes-for-funny-people-who-dont-swear/
yam what i yam popeye gif – Clip Art Library (clipart-library.com)